Writing Correction & Feedback.

Some people think it’s better to choose friends who always have the same opinions as them. Other people believe it’s good to have friends who sometimes disagree with them. Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience

Your Introduction:

Many people prefer building friendships with people whose point of view is similar to them rather than with those who argue them occasionally. While friends ought to have similarities, I believe that disagreements are inevitable and it would be better to make friends with someone who has different opinion from time to time.

My comments:

ought to have similarities - (change to) might often share similar views

I believe - (I wouldn’t give my opinion until the conclusion. The essay asks you to consider both sides and give your opinion. You have give your opinion BEFORE you even considered either side. Not a disaster by any means, but  it is better to consider both sides first then give your opinion in the summary conclusion)

So, although this introduction is well written (no mistakes), your strategy is slightly wrong. I have a few “consider both sides” video lesson on this website about “crime and the law” (unit 4) and “animals & pets (unit 7). The structure of the essay is explained in the free videos. https://www.ieltswritinghelp.com/task-2-writing-video-lessons/4-crime-the-law/ 



Body 1. See my changes that improve this answer.

From one perspective, it is true that people should share some common ground before striking up a friendship with someone, otherwise it is unlikely they would become friends. Indeed, one reason for this is that they tend to engage more with people who can relate to their views in life, and this kind of connection is likely to bring a positive impact on their relationship. For example, if friends were to think about decide whether or not they should get into adopt healthier habits, coming up with a unified position would make them feel encouraged and supported. Naturally, each of us however is unique, making it impossible to always have exactly the same thoughts and outlook as others. 

Comment: Very good paragraph. Try to make your structure more obvious by using clearer signal words. This will boost your score for cohesion and coherence. Otherwise, really good. Don’t worry about my changes - they are mainly to show how this could be improved to reach a higher band score.

On the other hand, it is not uncommon normal for friends to be split on certain issues. In fact, rather than being damaging, it could perhaps bring new perspectives to the other person. For instance, after watching a mystery movie, good friends would probably interpret its ending differently. Therefore, although most of the time, they might see it similarly, by hearing each other’s opinion, they could develop a fresh set of ideas. As a result, they could become more likely objective discerning and knowledgeable. Thus, it is not unfair to think that disagreements every now and then obviously will inevitably lead to new insights on some topics.

Comment: Again, very good paragraph. Just try to use better (clearer) signal words. I would choose different vocabulary (as you can see), but I think you use a wide range anyway.

To conclude,

On balance, in my opinion, while having the same views and opinions are essential to establish friendships, it is unlikely to find someone who can agree with you all the time. Hence, arguments with friends are to be seen in a positive light.

Comment: Good conclusion. However, if it is a “consider both sides” essay, you should use the signal word “On balance” to start your summary conclusion because you are trying to show a balance of 2 contrasting viewpoints.


Always use “in my opinion” after the signal word that introduces the summary conclusion (then use a contrasting or conditional subordinator - you used “although”, which is excellent).

In my opinion, I would give your essay a band 8 for task achievement, 7 for cohesion/coherence, 8 for grammar, and 8 for vocabulary. So 8 overall. Well done.


My changes would improve this answer to a band 9.